She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
