i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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