I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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