Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
