Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
