Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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