So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
