We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
