I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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