Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
