Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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