just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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