never play flip cup with pint glasses
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
