One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
