I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
