So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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