perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Randomize
