it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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