My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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