You can't motorboat a personality
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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