Don't you send me to vm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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