He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
