if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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