Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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