The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
