A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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