Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
