He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
