96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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