You can't motorboat a personality
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
