The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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