weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
