I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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