You really coming over, don't trick.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize