Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize