Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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