oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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