so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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