She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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