He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's always time for handjobs
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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