He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
