Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
