There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
