Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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