at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
