you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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