Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
