Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
