pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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