I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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