Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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