Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
