We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
