Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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