why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
