U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
