I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You dont lie about slip and slides
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
