um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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