just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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