Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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