By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
