I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
