You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
