problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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