I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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