totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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